The Act of Not Speaking

Years ago, an author shared his thoughts on time management and the need to do things at the right time. Read some of his quotes here

! This guy is still regarded as the wisest man ever so you can be sure he knew what he was talking about.

In one of his quotes, he said 

[there is] a time to be silent and a time to speak.

In other words, there is a time to comment/rant/tweet/discuss/banter/text-back and a time to shut up.

Obviously, for us as social beings, the former is easier than the latter. Even if you’re shy or a recluse, as long as you can speak, you know you would rather be able to say what is on your mind than hold back.

It is a natural instinct. In fact, speaking is considered a free right – one that has been fiercely fought for over time.

Speaking – verbally or virtually - is so easy that not speaking seems like a yoke or a sign of weakness, fear, mischief or even disrespect.

The truth, however, is that speaking is not as much an act as not speaking is.

The act of not speaking is probably the most underrated and misunderstood undertaking in human history. It is a show of rights in itself; a display of self-empowerment and a gesture so ambiguous only God can interpret it.

When performed well – in a timely manner as the sage advised - this act can sway things in one and any direction. Not speaking is the ultimate human right. That is what most of us do not realize.

There are several situations where it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself rather than broadcasting them prematurely. Doing this does not invalidate your opinions, it empowers them – the unknown is more revered than the known.

There is an appropriate time and place for your views and opinion. Consider that before you speak. No matter how smart or funny or important you believe what you have to say is, make sure it is the right time, medium and place. Otherwise, what you say would neither be smart nor funny nor important.

A year ago, my friend told me: 

be slow to speak, quick to listen.

I know she kind of stole it from the bible but I’ll still give her some credit. She is absolutely right. If you think before you speak, you’ll become a better listener.

Good leaders are great listeners because they know you can’t speak and listen at the same time. They hold their tongue and listen, making sure they have accurate information to work with before spewing out their thoughts.

Do not be deceived; there is absolutely nothing wrong with not speaking or withholding your comment. It is better for people to think that you are foolish than for you to say something prematurely and prove to be actually foolish. Do not speak until it is time to.

- Tobi Nifesi

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” - Mark Twain