reserved

I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed the company of crowds. 

I don’t. 

I’ll rather bask in the silence of the few people whose friendships have grown on me. 

But you see, that worked out fine when I was a child. With each new year of adulthood, I feel like I’m being forced - in some ways - to be unreserved. Now, it’s not like I don’t enjoy social activities. They can be fun and I had my fair share of fun as an adolescent but my issue is that I work based on energies. I am at my best when I feel something. My creativity is heightened when there is some sort of energy powering through. 

And for me, many at times, I feel that energy when I am away from crowds. Solitude fuels my creativity. It may be odd and maybe it is, but that is honestly what I have observed about myself. 

Yet, as an adult and a leader, I have to walk the thin line between being creative and being unreserved. I am a very young adult so I have a lot to learn about adulting but this aspect is one I struggle with. 

Does anyone else feel the same way?